diff --git a/.irssi/config b/.irssi/config
index f5446484..9aa8a168 100644
--- a/.irssi/config
+++ b/.irssi/config
@@ -158,7 +158,7 @@ aliases = {
   SB = "SCROLLBACK";
   SBAR = "STATUSBAR";
   SIGNOFF = "QUIT";
-  SPAM = "EXEC -out cat ~/ascii/$0";
+  SPAM = "EXEC -out ~/.local/bin/spam-ascii $0";
   SV = "MSG * Irssi $J ($V) - http://www.irssi.org";
   T = "TOPIC";
   UB = "UNBAN";
diff --git a/.local/bin/spam-ascii b/.local/bin/spam-ascii
new file mode 100755
index 00000000..19b3067e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/.local/bin/spam-ascii
@@ -0,0 +1,46 @@
+#!/bin/sh
+#
+# spam-ascii — cat a file from ~/ascii given a partial/fuzzy name.
+#
+# Resolution order:
+#   1. exact filename match: ~/ascii/<pattern>
+#   2. exact name + common extension: <pattern>.txt, .ans, .asc
+#   3. first case-insensitive *substring* match (sorted alphabetically)
+#
+# If nothing matches, prints a friendly error to stdout and exits non-zero.
+# Used by the irssi /spam alias, which pipes our stdout as channel messages.
+
+set -eu
+
+pattern=${1:-}
+if [ -z "$pattern" ]; then
+    echo "usage: spam-ascii <pattern>"
+    exit 1
+fi
+
+dir="$HOME/ascii"
+
+# 1 + 2. Try exact name, then exact + common ASCII-art extensions.
+for candidate in \
+        "$dir/$pattern" \
+        "$dir/$pattern.txt" \
+        "$dir/$pattern.ans" \
+        "$dir/$pattern.asc"; do
+    if [ -f "$candidate" ]; then
+        cat "$candidate"
+        exit 0
+    fi
+done
+
+# 3. First case-insensitive substring match.
+match=$(find "$dir" -maxdepth 1 -type f -iname "*$pattern*" 2>/dev/null \
+        | sort \
+        | head -n1)
+
+if [ -n "$match" ]; then
+    cat "$match"
+    exit 0
+fi
+
+echo "no match in ~/ascii for: $pattern"
+exit 1