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ascii/clightbulbs

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+How Many Christians Does it Take To Change a Light Bulb?
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+Charismatic: Only one. Hands are already in the air.
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+Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
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+Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
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+Roman Catholics: None. Candles only.
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+Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.
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+Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
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+Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb and four wives to tell him how to do it.
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+Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life, and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
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+Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. A church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring a bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
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+Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
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+Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
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+Amish: What's a light bulb?